How difficult can it be? Everything is easy until you become committed to it. This is as true for writers writing as it is for readers reading or lovers loving. It’s neither the work or the person, it is the task itself. Every time it’s the devotion to the cause, that’s the problem.
Take a step into a bookshop and pick out something to read. You’re excited to start and you read the first couple of chapters rather quickly. Get midway through and each and every chapter seems to take ages. One page now feels like one chapter did at the beginning. This is the problem with commitment. Sure we all like the idea behind it. I love reading books, or writing or playing we tell ourselves. But when we mentally devote ourselves to that act we’re setting an expectation and the expectation is ‘if I commit to this, it will just happen’.
Nothing worthwhile ever ‘just happened’.
This is a problem because it’s become not a job or a hobby or a person that we love. Now it is a burden, a chore, something we have to do in spite of how we feel about it deep down. We have to see a result from all this hard graft, because it is work and work is what happens when you commit to something.
This is why so many relationships fail at the point of commitment. We realise that now there has to be something to show for the time we are spending with this person. There has to be an escalation, holding someones hand for the first time becomes a first kiss, that kiss becomes a passionate relationship which becomes a young family which becomes…
It’s the worst kind of one-upmanship : trying to one-up yourself. It never ends in success only frustration.
Can we all just learn to relax a little please?